14 Nov 2012

Dear food- unhealthy and spicy... How I love thee!



These days it’s a well-known saying – ‘Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.’ Being a biggg foodie who swears every Monday that “I’ll cut the craving no matter what,” and fail by Sunday, I particularly have problem with the fattening part… However, I should say, my relationship with food is an absolutely memorable one. Only if I had a body with amazing metabolism, God knows how I would have gorged down the yummilicious stuff around me! Both me and food knows that what we actually want from life are quite different things, but let’s admit it food, we can’t do without each other!
Back in my days at the twin city, the evening of a sad or busy day would find my legs taking me towards Oottupura – the mallu restaurant near my apartment, or Wangs – the Chinese restaurant near my office. If in Oottupura, I order a bowl of kanji along with any variety of fried fish and immerse myself in the hot-spicy-filling feeling it embraces me with. And if Wangs, I went for ginger-pepper fried prawns or chicken lolly pop… Wah! Titanic would sink inside the water in my mouth now!

After eating the tummy-full all alone… I’d take a walk, with the ipod singing random songs in my ears. I don’t know the science behind it, but the walk, coupled with the music helped me gain back my mental stability, agility and peace. Nothing else, ever, could give such relaxation and happiness. If not for thoughts on the unhealthiness and fattening potential of them, I could have easily lived my life kingsize, like Kalidasan of ‘Salt n Pepper.’ Who wants anything or anyone else in life, if good food is there to brighten up your days? Well, spare me of the philosophical thoughts dearies, I wish I was in the land where metabolism is quick and spicy-tasty food is cheap… slurpppp slurppp… it’s the loveliest dream ever!

26 Aug 2012

To the Elusive Spring


A spring time has arrived in my garden
Its fragrance envelops me day in and out
My entire courtyard is flower-laden
It’s a wonderful and happy time, no doubt

It’s busy serving the bees and flies without fail
Proving that it’s arrived to entertain selflessly
Wiping the dryness that makes the garden pale
Giving company to the trees, which were lonely

I’m inhaling its charm, warmth and freshness
Filling moments of togetherness, with joy and hope
Through every waft of fragrance, it expresses -
I believe - yearning for a long ride together, non-stop…

“Be prepared, spring times pass leaving memories,”
Said momma, mind and most trusted buddy
Ya I know, this might just be another breeze,
The kinds that left me sad lessons to study

But what’s the point in thinking whether
This springtime too, will leave to the torrent
Painful lessons have made me aware
that joy can be searched only in the present moment...

Humming the tunes of happiness and joy
Let’s take a walk, dear elusive spring
Maybe you are destined to vanish as a decoy
But till then, I’d welcome the fragrance you bring...

14 Jul 2012

Its time for a one on one!



Well God, I am no saint
It’s no big revelation or complaint
Ok fine, I won’t pray for gains
But then you stop giving me big pains!
Give me peace, and keep me away
From hopes which might lead me astray
From treasures which cannot be found
And sad memories that rebound
Yes you’ve given me more than I asked,
Quite often in the years that have passed
Is that excuse enough to bring platters of sadness
Saying, “I want to increase your general awareness?”
Give me the blessing to stay content
To live my days and moments well-spent
Enough of these tests and strengthening process
I’m not strong enough to bear all these crosses.

11 Jul 2012

My little life

Meet the target, and you get big bonus!
Said my boss, and gave me the onus
Of making the customers and managers happy
And in the process making my life crappy

“This isn’t how it should be,” my heart murmured
“God what’s happening?” my mind feared
But bravely it came up with my life’s new plan
And said “take some risk, I know, yes you can!”

From the hip-hop-happening colorful world
I landed in my hometown, a new phase unfurled
Learnt something which I always wanted to do
And gave it my best, made it my beau

Not that my life is engulfed in joy
It has its flaws, which sometimes annoy
But the new world of words have brought in fun
And made me my own little loved one!

'Its my little life, and a great deal I care
I want enough time, to stand and stare
afterall, what is life, without a little pause
to enjoy the sunshine, rain and some red rose

12 Aug 2011

Tempting wilderness



I had asked you to think hard, when you said you're interested
warned you that the road you're taking is less traveled
you got intrigued, maybe- drawn and excited
to explore the unknown, flirt around the world of the hated

Halfway through my path, you're wishing I'm sure
that you knew the way ahead, before the rest of the tour
blame it on stars, gender or hormones
attitude, bruises, scars or emptiness

I can kill you, with love or hatred
etch within you, moments sacred
be your best friend, or worst enemy
make you a spectator, engulfed in envy

Give you all that I have for myself
take everything away, leaving you enmeshed
The gentle breeze can give way to scary cyclone
It can leave you distressed, sad and all alone

Call it coldness, rudeness or pride
It's time for you to move ahead bold, or hide...
that side road is beckoning you temptingly
I can see it's fragrance embracing you lasciviously

Just that again, it's the poisonous gender
of our common star-lit road that you're gonna enter
the road is sure to make your feet get hardened
strong enough to move on, even while numb or saddened...

5 Aug 2011

Something that swam up the memory sea...



Today morning on my way back to hostel from church, I spotted a little girl walking towards my direction, with occasional flashes of fear on her face. She went ahead without making an eye contact with me. As my slow walking pace took me ahead a few steps, I saw a teenaged school boy with wide sad eyes, holding a chocolate in an 'it's just for you, please take it' pose, gazing at the direction in which she went... a typical 'album-song' moment, which can have numerous interpretations... numerous twists... 'boy grows up to woo the girl all over again type...' but, passing through the smell of this moment, my mind started a train journey back to my own school days...


Aah... school days... school bus... classmates... quarrel mates... fight mates... this is how the picture progresses in my mind... being someone who got her milk teeth sprouted pretty late ( when I was around 12 I guess... that's another story!) in life, and kids being the most cruelly innocent people you can find on earth, I had a pretty nasty childhood. While there were a few who liked me for various reasons, there were many who found me the right target to bring out their bullying potential. And for the natural fighter I am, I tolerated no nonsense. Quarrels, fights, slaps, kicks, beats, foul-mouthing, mud-slinging... a slide show of me resorting to all these in a school uniform would pretty much sum up my lower primary days...


And one day...


It's in one of those days that a little boy of my age, who is my school bus mate,  started calling me 'ammumme ( granny)' constantly, starting a random fine day morning. My action-heroinism did not wait to respond - after trying hard to ignore his comments for a day or so - and the result was a bloody big scar on his forehead - did not know the that a baby umbrella can tear open a little boy's forehead skin.... 


Surprisingly, the injured little one was too proud to cry or even expose it, and he just tied his towel on to his forehead tight, in 2/3 folds, in Phoolan Devi style. And maybe that all were busy chatting around, or is too used to my violent ways now, no one took notice of this. And as usual I froze, and was clueless about how I should respond. We sat beside each other till the bus reached his home, and off he went. I remember looking anxiously at him, with a troubled expression on my face, as he slowly walked into his house, at the entrance of which his mom stood with a question mark on her face - It was surely about her sonny boy's new style...


Well, I forgot the incident in no time, though... the next day I forgot to even see whether he is ok, when he boarded the school bus... But during one of our breaks, I saw him in a classroom near to mine, with a small bandage on his head...


The day a sight turned a glowing memory speck...


As I walked towards our water tap to wash my hands before lunch, I saw him sitting on a bench there, with a happy expression. He had a packet of sweets with him, and was offering it to all who came to wash their hands. I guess it was his birthday... Not knowing what to do, I did not go near him... but felt a soft tap on my shoulder as I washed my hands...


Our little Harry Potter it was, with his sweet laden hands held out... I could sense my face cracking a smile as my right hand moved towards his sweet packet. "Wait," suddenly he said... and took out a little chocolate from his pocket... "These toffees can be difficult to chew... will you take this chocolate? my mom brought this for me as it's my favourite." His face did not have an ounce of hatred.... 


"No, I don't want it...," said the 'rude-by-default' me... and walked off. And in that brief pause I had before I walked off, I could see those cute eyes turning moist... my periphery vision saw his chocolate-held hand laced with sadness going back to his pocket, throwing the chocolate in there - with disgust? sorrow? slight hatred? I did not know then....


Don't know how this got etched to my memory clearly... may be that my sensible sub-conscious mind stored it to make the sweetness of the picture clear to me gradually... to teach me how small actions can spread happiness, how they can also pierce through a sensitive heart... how I always had innocent love around me which I failed to notice... and how all my life I unknowingly turned a blind eye to many beautiful things around me...


And where ever you are...


That school bus mate of mine - I don't know where he is right now, for he had changed school in another year or so. And we weren't ever in touch... but the image of the little boy in front of the church today brought back the memories without any stale smells. Friend, I only wish I had the heart to understand you, back then... I know it might not matter at all now, may be you have even forgotten, but the mere memory of those little moist eyes are prompting me after decades to say "I'm sorry... I wish I deserved to be your friend..."

Ask, and you shall receive?



I want to walk in the night rain,
holding on to my umbrella, listening to my ipod
I want that gust of wind to blow away
my myriad moods and show me ahead, the road
I want to fly up and perch on that mighty tree
Feeling the chilly cold wind, tickling soft through my feathers
I want to go 'ouch' happily, 
when that dew drop splashes on my head
I want to get camouflaged
in the greenery around and feel it's warmth
I want to feel the gush of air embracing me 
when the heart flutters advance in my direction
I want the feathers to get clasped soft and tight
Rushing past the moments quick
I want the world around to ignore us dance
and shout out loud amidst thunders of joy
I want to bottle up the time's warmth and scent
and blanket me with it in lonely blackness
I want to squeeze open my eyes and yawn
stretching my spine, welcoming the peaceful dawn
I want them all done, and immerse myself in the joy
and here I totally ask, seek and knock with the hope...